talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Randomize
