My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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