I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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