Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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