i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
