Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just gargled with NyQuil
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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