do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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