In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
