You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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