shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
