vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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