I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
