Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
