Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
