Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
