remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
