CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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