goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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