We won't sleep together?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
