Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
