i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
