Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
