Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
