They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
