WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
