I didn't shave. On purpose
Jerry, you need to find god
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
well you can't waste a boner
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
