I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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