ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
How external is "for external use only"?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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