Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
