this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
