Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
