I'll bet she douches with gravy.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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