He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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