Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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