This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
