She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
