No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
