im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We have started to decorate penises.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
