She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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