I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
