I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
