I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Randomize
