What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
