mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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