So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
