Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I got chris browned last night
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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