you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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