I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
