Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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