Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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